Life gets busy. We slack on the things we need to do. We make time for the things we want to do. Or maybe I am alone in this selfish cycle of putting my pleasures before what is needing to be done.
As I sat down in my planning period to try and focus on God, these were the things running through my heart. I’ve been running nowhere all week, staying busy with things that aren’t important, especially Facebook. I haven’t been sleeping enough or well, and as a result of these combined forces, my intimate time with God has become less and less. I hate when I do that. It just leaves me with this deep longing for Him that feels hard to fill. Of course, when I put away the striving and just quiet myself, He shows up right there in the midst.
Today I was reading in Numbers 20 where Moses and Aaron are instructed to speak to the rock and to tell water to come forth from it, but instead, Moses struck the rock, and he was punished for it. In Exodus 17, God told Moses to strike the rock. In this passage, Moses was told to speak to the rock. When God rebuked and disciplined them, He said, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” (Num. 20:12 NLT) As I read that, I felt like God said to me, “All disobedience stems from a lack of trust.”
I began to think about that and go through the 10 commandments. If we put other idols before God, we are not trusting that He is who He said He is, the One true God, the I Am. If we curse Him or use His name in vain, we do not trust that He is holy and to be revered. If we covet, steal, or fail to follow the sabbath, we do not trust that God provides all we need. If we murder, we are not trusting God’s justice. Every disobedience can point to a way that we are not trusting God’s goodness, holiness, faithfulness, justice, peace…
And as I thought on that, I realized that when I fail to slip away with God because I am tired or because I don’t feel like I can engage with Him, when I fail to wake up because I didn’t get enough sleep, I am failing to trust that He is my source of strength or that He is able to redeem that time. When I choose to do what is on my agenda before what is on God’s agenda, I am saying I don’t trust Him enough to meet me and help me accomplish everything else.
Today I will choose to “trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus then to trust and obey.”