I didn’t get much of a chance to write a blog yesterday. I may or may not write two today to make up for it. Yesterday, I went jeans shopping. I hate jean shopping. I hate clothes shopping altogether, except dresses; I like shopping for dresses. Although I found a great deal at Arc, it was still a hard find. I ended up only buying one pair of jeans, dress pants, and brown corduroys, as well as three cardigans. I went to Arc intending to only buy jeans, though, and I still would like another pair of jeans. The problem is, I have a double whammy. I am obese and tall. Most of the jeans were either too short or didn’t fit at all, and sometimes both too short and too small.
Most days I feel comfortable in my body. I don’t want to change anything. And then I go clothes shopping. Nothing fits right. And I go in feeling fun and confident, but I leave feeling fat. It is one thing to know you are fat, but it is another thing altogether to feel fat. Let’s just say I was one more pair of pants away from eating salad for a week. (I could never eat salad for a week. That was a lie.)
So, here is the encouraging truth that I am speaking over myself. I am beautiful. I was knit together in my mother’s womb by a wonderful Creator God. My life has purpose. My identity doesn’t depend on my size. My identity is more than how I look. God loves me the way I am, even though He and I both know I need to make dietary and habit-breaking changes. I am important, valued, and precious in His eyes. I am not my jeans size.
It is a struggle I think every woman faces, big or small. You are not your jean size, either.