It’s crazy how one day you can be upbeat and positive about life, holding onto the promises of God, and then feel miserable the next. The truth is, though God has given me such clear promises, I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of being rejected by teaching jobs. I’m tired of filling out applications. I’m tired of feeling bored with life. And I feel stuck in limbo.
However, I also won’t settle for less than what God has for me. Waiting sucks. If I do get a job elsewhere during this limbo time, it will only be to make ends meet. I am going to teach. I am going to pursue my dreams… No matter what.
And with that I wonder, is there ever a time in life that we aren’t waiting for something? As kids we “can’t wait” for Christmas, birthdays, or in my case, the start of school. As teens we “can’t wait to” graduate, get a car, get a license, move out. As a college student, the fairytale dreams of love become an “I can’t wait to fall in love,” not to mention the “I can’t waits” of graduating and starting the dream job. Then there are the “can’t waits” of starting a family, seeing them graduate, get married, grandchildren, and retirement. But it also seems that some waits are easier than others.
I guess my self-encouragement tonight is to figure out what it means to worship and glorify God in the waiting, in the long time coming. I know God has great things in store, ready to bloom, and I must wait. I must continue to trust Him. Today, waiting sucks, but I will try to praise God better.