Dear Children I’ll Have Someday,
I love you. You are not even born yet, or maybe you are. I don’t know when I will meet you or where I will meet you, but I already am looking forward to the day I hold you in my arms. I’m looking forward to gazing into your beautiful eyes, watching a smile stretch across your face and declaring how beautiful you are. How exquisitely God has made you! And as I look into your face, I will declare what mighty warriors you will grow up to be. You will be victorious with Jesus by your side. You will be a blessing to those around you. I will look into your eyes and thank God for you while praying that He guards your every step, forms your heart after His.
I look forward to watching you grow into men and women of God, clothed in grace and love. I look forward to watching you struggle, push through, and taste the thrill of victory. I look forward to rejoicing with you as you learn to crawl, walk, talk, read, write, think, be. I will always be proud of you because you are my child. I will always be there for you, to encourage you, challenge you, love you. I want the world’s best for you!
Truth be told, I’m not ready for you, for your get-into-everything curiosity, your crying to be held, your dependence on me. I’m not ready for your soccer practices, schooling, buying clothes, buying toys. I am not ready for the money that I know will be well spent on you. I am not ready to truly care for you with abandonment. I am not ready to be responsible for your life. The truth is, I still have a lot to learn. I need to learn to balance the little things of life, so I can help keep your life in balance. I need to learn to plan, so that you will have good meals in your belly and so that you will always have a mom at your soccer games. I need to learn to spend the money I make more wisely, and even find work that will help support you.
So, I am thinking of you and praying for you, even now. If you are already born, waiting for me to come, may God bless you and keep you safe from all harm. May you know that I love you, someway through someone, even now. You will be my sweetly blissful blessing, my upright warrior, and my fruitful child of God. Most of all, I am praying that God will make me into the woman I need to be that I may be the mother that you deserve.
With all my love,