If Only I Could Quit

I hate my job! I love the people. I love the slight social experience, but there are certain aspects I have come to hate. Serving people, I love it!  I wish the library was so full of people who needed assistance that I never had to do the horrible boring stuff, or at least busy enough that the boring stuff would be so minimal.  Projects, in general, I love projects.  I love the little one or two-day assignments that have a finite end, the projects that utilize my creativity a little.  I work in a place where I feel completely unengaged.  It takes zero brain power for me to do the busy work that we are assigned.  Allow me to illustrate.

When we have down time at my job, a library, we can do a scavenger hunt (don’t let it fool you, it isn’t as fun as it sounds), shelf shifting (unless it has been finished) or shelf reading.  I love scavenger hunts, but this is just ridiculous. The books aren’t really hidden.  It isn’t a mental puzzle that is a race against time.  It is just going through the stacks and flipping books up/double checking that books have been put away in correct Dewey decimal order.  zzzzzzz.  I feel like I could put books away in Dewey order in my sleep!  So if that is too boring for you, you can do a completely brainless activity–shelf shifting! I could do it simply by muscle memory.  There is no science to it.  Grab some books from the one end and walk them down to their new location. Repeat.  it is just walking up and down the stacks and moving the books down to make room for more books.  Finally, I like to read a book, not a series of Dewey decimals.  it is like daily having to alphabetize a list of words just to look busy.  It may be fun at first, which it was, but eventually it just becomes something you loathe!

Really the reason these activities are so horrible is because they want you to do it constantly.  There are three people working on my shifts.  That means they want two shelf reading or doing something else away from the desk at all times.  That means I should theoretically be doing 8 HOURS of mindless busy work crap!!! Let’s be real.  The only reason I am still at this job is because we need the money!  I feel like I am going insane!

Then the Holy Spirit has to get all up in my pity party.  “Worship me still.” Man!!! Everything within me is resisting.  I know that to worship God with something I loathe means I have to just do it.  The problem all along is I DON’T WANT TO DO IT!!! So I am caught between this chunk of flesh that abhors something and the Spirit which tells me to do it anyway, and to do it with excellence.  So, I guess my open-ended question that I am still stuck asking myself because I don’t want it to be the same answer in my head, “How do you worship God with something you hate?”

Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

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