In case you didn’t know to read the “Dun dun dun” as if it was following some suspenseful twist of events, read it again.
That’s right folks, I have survived my first evaluation of student teaching. I admit that I was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? It’s only someone who holds the power to flunk or pass you dissecting what you do as a teacher in order to give you constructive criticism. No pressure! I feel confident and comfortable in the classroom. I don’t always feel in control of the classroom, but I think I am about as in control of the classroom as anybody else. I could be deceived.
When my supervisor walked in, I finished going through the homework with the kids and introduced the class to him. I told them why he was there, to grade me, and that they still needed to focus on me as the teacher. Then when he walked out after 45 minutes, they all started asking, “Where is he going?”
“He is going to talk to Mrs. Smith*,” I replied, “and then he is going to come and tell me how I did.”
“I hope he gives you a good grade!” “You are a great teacher!” “You should work here!” were among the many popcorn responses from the kids. It is comforting to know that if kids were the deciding factor, I could easily have a job lined up today. Sadly, they are not the deciding factor. Sadly, your ability to teach could potentially not be enough either. My supervisor was all praise about my teaching, for the most part. (I just need to not lean on the board as I talk to the kids.) His only concern was… appearance.
I get it. This week was rough! I don’t even know why other than I wasn’t getting to bed early enough (sorry, babe, 9:00 from now on… give or take). Today, I wore a spirit shirt and jeans. I have never been good about ironing and laundry. Now I have to. I have never cared about make up. Now I have to. I have never cared about my hair. Now I have to. It isn’t that I don’t know how to invest in myself, I just never gave myself the time or felt I had the resources. Now I have to.
So, tomorrow, I am going to get my hair cut. I usually will invest more time into my hair when it is short[er]. I am going to buy some eyeliner and start investing in myself. My supervisor said he was surprised at how well I taught. I didn’t over react to off task students and I was engaging with the kids, so I can teach. Unfortunately we live in a world where utmost professional appearance is necessary to get a job, usually, and I need to treat every day as if it is an interview. I don’t look sloppy, but I know I don’t look my best either. At least I didn’t see Stacy and Clinton today, then again, they would have told me I looked bad and given me $5,000 to fix it.
*I changed the name of my cooperating teacher to protect her identity (not that many people read this enough to matter).