I know I will never stop growing in my walk with God. There is always more to learn and I can always work toward a clearer reflection of Jesus, but I wonder if I will ever stop struggling with certain aspects. Is it possible that as my relationship with God deepens, he calls me to trust more, love more, give more, and that in that growing it may seem like I am struggling with the same issues over and over, but really I am just being stretched further than before?
Whether it is a struggle yet again, or a deepening of what I have learned, it seems God is drawing me to trust Him more. All around me it seems God is saying repeatedly, “Do not fear. Trust in Me. Let Me take control. Don’t do it in your own strength. Lean on Me. Trust in Me.” It is like a still small voice prodding me further from myself and closer to Him. In the middle of it all, I just feel an overwhelming need for God.
Today I was reminded about Isaiah’s pinnacle moment in the throne room of God. He stood in God’s presence hearing the cherubim declaring, “Holy, Holy, Holy,” and he was overcome by his unworthy condition. “Woe is me,” he cried, “for I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” In remembering this scene that I have heard and know so well, I was reminded of my guilt and lack of worth as well as God’s amazing grace. In view of myself, it is so easy to see my need for God, for “the coal that cleanses my lips.”
I think God reminds us of our need for Him because it draws us to Him. It is a part of His pursuit after our hearts. If we answer to that call, that prodding within to let go of ourselves and embrace God, He will answer!
Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:7-8)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)