A week ago Saturday, I returned from Desperation Conference with high expectations and a challenge burning in my heart. I had this desire to go deeper with God and with a willing heart I vowed to passion, intersession, consecration, and mission. Already it has been a challenging journey. The first few days were simple. I read my Bible and I wrote in my Desperation journal. Then I had finished hammering out my vow. I knew what I had to live up to and what I felt God was expecting from me. Now I had to live it out.
Passion: I vowed to make my room a place of constant worship and to seek God daily. I vowed to manage my time better to give God my time. As I reflect on this week, there were times I did honestly seek God in the reading of His word. I must say that I feel and see a huge improvement since pre-Desperation, but I can’t help feeling like I have developed already a mindset of “crossing it off the list.” Living passionately for God shouldn’t be something I cross off my list, but I live out.
Intersession: I vowed to pray more than before meals, more than before bed, and more than when I need something. I vowed to pray for the sake of talking with God. It was a vow to seek him to pursue HIM! This may be the hardest one I have come to realize. I am sure God reads my prayer journal, but is that enough? Is that a fulfillment of my vow? Will that draw me closer to God? What about listening? God, make me a prayer warrior!
Consecration: I vowed to save myself completely for what God has for me, to live above reproach. I vowed to maintain purity of mind, purity of heart, and purity of body. As I ponder this statement I come across some challenging questions. Purity of Mind: Am I renewing my mind? Am I letting God govern what I think about? Or do I dwell on what I want before it is time, like a future with my best friend? Could my focus be misguided already? Purity of Heart: Is my heart in God’s hands completely? Do I trust him with my future relationships, my hopes, and my dreams? God knows the desire of my heart, so should I not focus on him with my whole heart? Purity of Body: I am keeping sexually pure! Praise God! It hasn’t always been like that. Could this go deeper though? Does the way I take care of my body reflect my bodily purity? Is my chocolate abuse a form of bodily defilement? Is my laziness a form of impurity as it does not take care of the temple?
Mission: I vowed to be God’s love with whatever task He gives me, especially to my siblings. They love God, and they know he is God, but some of them do not live for him. They do not engage a relationship with him. This starts in intercession, but I want to pray until I see them serve Him whole heartily and to be a light as much as God grants me the opportunity to. So where have spent the time in prayer for them?
Do they not deserve more than a passing prayer?
In a nutshell, I have discovered that this call to passion, intercession, consecration, and mission can be as small or as big as I allow it, but I am beginning to believe it goes deeper than I realize. And I believe that if I begin to make this changes, it will transform my life. God, transform my life!