Battle in My Mind

The battlefield of the mind is raging right now:

1). Do I move home at Christmas and take online classes my last year of school, giving me the ability to student teach in Aberdeen, close to home? Do I stay at school where I have a loving church family that I grow spiritually in and wonderful friends all around me? — Trust in the Lord, Megan and lean not on your own understanding. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. If it means leaving SAGU earlier than you expected, than he will prepare you for it and give you peace. He will still help you grow spiritually even if FFI isn’t there to help you. You have to seek God to grow.

2). I could really use a car whether I am at school or moving home. There was one at a rummage sale this week that looked like it was an ok car and it was only $1700. I really do not know much about it, but I could possibly swing that by the end of the summer. Is that what I am supposed to do? How are you going to provide a car when I have no money in savings, Lord?— Again… Trust in the Lord, Megan. Has he ever failed you? Have you ever been without clothing, or food, or your school books? Have you ever had to worry about a job or tuition payments? Sure, it hasn’t been handed to you on a silver platter, but have you not been well taken care of? Do not worry about it. God will provide everything you need as you need it according to his riches in glory. He always has. But first, Seek him and his kingdom.

3). I am seriously doubting that I will ever get married.  There is so much more to this than one blog can hold or that I really care to delve into.  But my insides are torn about it.  I went to bed thinking this very thought, especially about me and my ex.  It seems more and more unlikely as time goes by.  And then I have this dream.  If a dream is a wish your heart makes, then my heart is in complete disagreement with my brain, and that just confuses me—Why do you insist on knowing everything all the time, Megan? Let God write your love story.  Trust him with every detail of your life.  He knows you more than you know yourself and he will pick someone who will be perfect for you.  Quit trying to make pieces fit together all the time.  Quit searching for love everywhere except the arms of Christ.

 

I think I know which side to listen to because I think they are guided by the Holy Spirit.

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