I know I have not blogged in a really long time, so I am going to try to get back into it, but this felt deeper than a facebook status could suffice. It feels like there has been a huge paradigm shift within in all my friendships. There is one family that used to feel so much like my family, and I am not sure why it doesn’t feel like that anymore. Is it because I am so busy? Is it because I never have a chance to really just hang out? Is it because I am indeed not their family? Is it because after being away for a year, I appreciate my REAL family more? I don’t understand. I don’t know why I feel this way. I know I have been making all new friends this year, but that doesn’t mean the others have to change. I don;t want to make the trade. I want them all!
It isn’t just the relationships; it is me as well. I know I have changed this semester. I am more confident most of the time. I have become more of a leader, for Kyrgyzstan. I wonder if that is where the paradigm shift started. Was it as a result of what God has been doing or was it a result of me being stupid? Or am I really just insecure and completely lacking confidence at all and thus making this up?