Do you ever feel like life is one giant, never-ending year at school and that God is the teacher? In our before school training this week, we have learned about the importance of intentional lesson planning. We do not test or assess students on something they haven’t been taught. We want to introduce it to the kids and see what they know, then plan the unit to meet the kids at their level. We assess as we go to monitor their progress, and we grade the unit exam to see what they have learned. Each lesson needs to be intentional to point to the key concepts of the unit. I feel like God has been taking me through a unit on Intentionality, Obedience, and Consistency for the last few years.
As you can imagine, I have a lot of thins on my mind with the start of the school year. I definitely was feeling unprepared to start the year, especially from an American standpoint. My classroom is still not fully set up. I am still finishing my job board, and I don’t know what else I am putting on my bulletin board at this point. I think it will be a questions board or something. That’s a different blog for a different time. I still have to hang up the word wall. I still have writing posters to hang up. I still need to buy a carpet for my reading corner. It seems there is a never-ending list of things I want to finish so that I can focus on the important things.
And I find myself feeling once again that there are all these important things I would like to achieve. I feel like I am so close to getting there, but I am just trying to get settled to where I feel like I can move forward in them. And instead of reaching up to achieve them, I am reaching down to stop them from falling beneath me.
So as I enter the weekend finally getting more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep because of late nights at the school, and as I look to start my checklist of the many things I would like to accomplish in my classroom before Monday, I find myself wondering if this has all been a test. Like in all the times before now that I tried and tried to learn intentionality with my husband and my cleaning. And in all the times I was feeling challenged to build routine when my schedule was in such flux, maybe these were times God was teaching me to prepare me for my current situations. And as I self-assess, I want to do better on the test than I am doing. Perhaps I am not so good at learning life lessons as I am at learning algebra and trigonometry.
And perhaps I just need to stop over analyzing life, put aside whatever my idea of perfect is, and just intentionally reserve time to seek the Perfect One. I struggle with that kind of focus when life is in chaos. I feel like I am in chaos.